Happy Birthday to me..

So it's my birthday tomorrow and it is also weigh in day.. Not long left in the comp, although I am pretty sure I am in for the long haul this time. I am feeling a bit nervous about weigh in (as per usual) but this time I don't think I will lose and I am a bit disappointed in myself. I kind of set myself a mini goal to be a certain weight by my birthday (a realistic one) and I still couldn't achieve it..!! And I actually think I self saboutaged (sp?) myself the last few days. Does anyone else do that?? Knowing I had this number in my head and also it is a number I couldn't conquer last time...kind of made me do silly little/big things - such as eat chips!! Very bizarre.. and bloody annoying... I have serious issues I feel.. LOL

Anyway, back to the birthday - my little boy wants to cook me a cake so I scoured the internet today for a low cal chocolate cake but couldnt find and easy one. And I can't find my cookbook with the recipe in it... It occurred to me today, that it is little things like this that can blow everything completely out of the water!! I must be strong.... I must be strong.... Oh god, how am I gonna stay on this life long journey??